I had the most delicious dream this morning about a friend of mine that I never, ever, EVER, in a million years would consider hooking up with. But, I gotta tell ya, this dream was just what the proverbial doctor ordered!

Let me be very clear, here: It was not dirty, or sleazy, or even particularly suggestive. So, then, what was it, you might ask?

Well, let me tell ya.

It was comforting and loving and endearing -- all of those things that a single girl misses when she has nary a semblance of a relationship in the works, and all of the things that a sorta single girl hunts and digs for in her existing relationship but can't seem to find, not to mention all of the things that a definitely not single girl means when she says something is missing from her relationship (unless, of course, she unwittingly is dating a gay man; then that something missing might just simply be sex).

The best part of the dream wasn't that we made out or anything, 'cause we didn't. It was simply this:

I walked up to him to put my hand through his arm and rest my head on his shoulder while we were waiting for these movers (don't ask; would require a much more detailed explanation of the dream, and isn't really the point here) to finish what they were doing. And when I'd been standing that way for a while and started to pull away to go pick out a DVD to watch (again, not explaining the DVD side story at this stage), he ever-so-slightly tightened his arm, keeping me with him, making me feel safe and embraced and loved.

Fellas, truly, it's the simplest things...

you're leaving
i know you are
you don’t even have to say it
you could even not know it yet
but you’re leaving, i swear
you can lay along the couch
speaking nonsense about nothing
i'll sit across from you
gently smiling
genuinely interested
but constantly distracted
waiting for you to leave

you’re going
you’re already out the door
i have the feeling
i'll not be seeing you anymore
you may not realize it yet
but you’re going, i swear
you can speak reassuring words
talk on and on about importance
i'll listen and wish to believe you
all the while resigned
to an empty night

i don’t know how to be
i've gotten so used to you
foolish me, letting my fingers
reach out to dip into our smile
what was i thinking
i should have remembered
that, eventually, you’d away

you’re done
though i can see you
you’re no longer here
you still don’t know it
i cannot be for you
dearest
you don’t see or hear me
never thought i'd be weak like this
never thought i'd hold on so tight
while pushing into that cold room where i stay locked away

I've been thwarted!

I'll admit it: I love chick lit. Bridget Jones's multiple diaries were like a balm to me. So when I found the blog "The Company Bitch," I was in girl-drama heaven! The writing was funny and witty, and after having read her for so long, I felt like I knew the characters/people that she wrote about.

Today, tho', I went to catch up with the CB, and she has apparently set her blog so that only invited readers can read her blog.

What????

Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of writing a blog? I mean, don't most of us do this 'cause we want to share our thoughts with other people?

I gotta say, I know I need to get a grip, but I'm feeling kinda betrayed, here! Damn!

O.K., kiddies, it's bed time for Gonzo. Sweet dreams!

I'm so tired.

I was watching a 1996 George Carlin special on HBO with a couple of friends, kickin' back in this not-so-comfortable recliner, and I couldn't help but start to fall asleep. I fought it and fought it, trying to be especially conscientious of any potential snoring-esque emittances, but at long last I succumbed to the reality of the situation. I rather abruptly stood up and announced, "I'm leaving."

I think I surprised my friends.

Of course, now, having driven home, I'm ever-so-slightly more alert, but still completely exhausted, yet too awake now to actually sleep. Damn.

Y'know what? I'm gonna try anyway -- damn the consequences!