My family's a bit fucked up, to tell you the truth. Both of my parents (legal parents; my mom is not my birth mother; another story for another night) are in their fourth marriages, and there are six of us kids, ranging in age from 4 to 36, and none of us have the same two parents. Plus, I've not been speaking to my mom for about five years now, so I haven't even met my youngest sibling yet.

As I was saying, my family's a bit fucked up.

But the worst of us is undoubtedly the oldest boy, S. He was an angel of a child, so sweet and loving, but when he hit puberty (this is my personal theory, anyway) his genetically inherited psychoses from his mother began to kick in.

Long story short, he got involved in gangs and drugs, spent ages 16 through 21 in the California Youth Authority -- which, anyone who's societally aware will tell you, is enough to permanently damage any human being and turn them into a bit of a sociopath -- and is now a father with a girl that he doesn't love and has no intention of marrying.

Oh, and by the way, he's a "recovering" heroin addict and an alcoholic, as well as a two-pack-a-day smoker. He's a mess.

Anyway, I just have come to the point where I don't know how to help him survive. He's been diagnosed recently as both bipolar and paranoid schizophrenic, but he refuses to take any kind of meds for either condition because he says they make him feel like he isn't real.

In the meantime, he goes into fits of rage where he destroys furniture and smashes out storefront windows and punches holes in walls. He got arrested again recently, but is such a charismatic guy -- despite his purposefully outlaw look -- that the judge let him out on bail without bond (from what I understand).

Oh, and in case you hadn't guessed already, he can't hold a job. Actually, it's not that he's incapable of holding a job. He just stops going after the first week or two.

As I said, my family's a bit fucked up.