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Friday, June 22, 2007

Yesterday was a Day -- capital "D"! It was one of those days when every single customer was just a little too whiny and implacable, where every copy you try to make gets a paper jam, where every step you take in your cute platform loafers feels like you're about to fall on your ass.

Yeah. One of those Days.

So, when I went to Target after work to buy toothpaste and window cleaner, and some guy tried to steal my parking space, I turned into one of those confrontational, insistent types.

Here's how it happened:

I pulled into the South Marketplace Shopping Center. I drove to the row right in front of the Target, and while I was coming around the corner, I noticed a guy loading stuff into the back seat of his car. Perfect, I tho't, finally a break on this hellacious day! The spot was only, like, five spaces away from the front door, and since my feet were not cooperating that day, I figured it'd be best to not have to walk very far.

Plus, I was tired and already cranky from my Day.

So, I stopped and turned on my blinker, indicating that I was waiting for this guy to leave so I could take his spot. And, as is the natural way of things, he left, and just as I began to move forward to turn into the space, this car zooms out from behind me, swings around my car, and pulls into the space.

WHAT????

I began to honk like a mad woman, as though I was having a diabetic fit and the horn was a needle full of insulin.

The guy decided to ignore me, probably figuring that, in such a polite little country town, the Crazy Lady will be too embarrassed to press the issue.

He had no idea.

I put my car in "Park," removed my key from the ignition, and jumped -- yes, literally jumped! -- out of my car, yelling, "Excuse me! Ex-cuse me! That's my space!"

The man stared at me in dumb silence.

"I had my blinker on. I was waiting for that guy to leave. That's my space."

More stunned silence.

Then, finally he said:

"Look, you were only there a minute. I've been looking for a spot for a lot longer than that."

To which I replied, "Well, I'm sorry you left to try to find a better spot, but that one's mine. Thank you! That's my space."

One more round of stunned silence.

So I said, in a slightly higher-pitched and more desperate tone, "I'm gonna have to insist. Thank you. That's my spot. I don't care. Thank you."

Yeah.

He got in his car and left...to park in the spot that, in the course of our little encounter, had opened up two spots down. Now, I know some of you may be thinking that I probably should have let it go and taken the other spot. To this I answer:

HELL NO!

The whole point is that I had my blinker on, and I had been waiting for that particular spot. He needed to be taught some manners, and I was just the Crazy Lady to oblige.

ROAR!!!!

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